Crying yellow snowmen.


free html visitor counters
GRAFFITI
Don't play with yellow snow.

I re-read my multiply to get to know my old self.

Stop living in the past, fuck.

Jokes 2


Ang mga Bisaya di ko maintindihan English nila.
English ng isda… pis.
English ng mukha… pis.
Ng pandikit… pis.
Ng kapayapaan.. . pis.
Tinanong pa ako kung saan ako nakatira… Pis 1 o Pis 2?
Pisti!

Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: oo doc! puta pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!

Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po
naniniwala ba?
Father: dati…pero ngayon trip trip na lang!

Passenger taps taxi driver’s shoulder…
WAAAAAHHHHHH! !!! screamed the driver…
Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi.
25
years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria

(in a cabinet meeting …)
GMA: oshige .. kung shino man ang tamaan ng bola na ‘to ay siyang magre-reshign
(initsa ang bola, tumalbog pabalik sa kanya …)
GMA: o … praktish lang un noh? ulet!

Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!

Mom: baby, you’re good in math. Now I’m going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what’s your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!

BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema MO lang, problema NATIN dahil nagmamahalan tayo.ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis NATIN si inday at TAYO ang ama

Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: pare, ako
nanalo!!!

1 panget na babe, hinoholdap
Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang…

1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang aso
Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?
Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!
Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!

In a pet shop…
Customer talking to a parrot…
Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!

Priest: ang mga bakla’y walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit
Mga bakla: okey lang po father..dun na lang kami sa rainbow mag slide-slide! !!

Jokes

4 job applicants were asked: “What is the fastest thing in the world?”
The German said, “Thought”.
The American said, “A blink of an eye”.
The Aussie said, “Light”.

The Pinoy said, “Diarrhea!”

Pinoy: “Lit mi eksplin. Dis murning, I hab istumak ek, I run to di tuylet but bipor I kud tink, blenk, or eben swits on di lyt, tangna, der was syet en my pants olridi, su past!”

—————————

BATA: “Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat nalang ng gawin ko mali! Di nyo na ako mahal!”
AMA: “Nagkakamali ka anak…”
BATA: “Syet, mali nanaman ako!”

———————-

You don't scream if you don't want someone to hear.

I just didn't fucking have enough guts to do it before... -- I don't want to fucking say that in the future.

Society has disfigured itself by making expectations, insecurities, and bullshit mainstream beliefs.

Do something stupid, fall, then get up. Repeat.

Words of wisdom from someone I don’t trust.

Right now, my eyes says CRY but my head says why?

honestly.

Program design today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -- Rich Cook

icanread:

(by gwendollyn)

THEN FUCKING KILL ME.

More Information